Category Archives: Uncategorized

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When You Heal Your Hurt, You Heal Your Life

Category : Uncategorized

There are so many of us walking around seemingly living “normal” lives yet inside we are hurting.

This hurt may be obvious or hidden, for example, depression, trauma , abuse, violence, not feeling valued or loved, being abandoned, losing someone close to you, whatever the hurt is it will be affecting every aspect of our lives.

This hurt manifests in the way you think, feel and do, it permeates our relationships and our health.

We think that if we bury it deep enough its forgot about, it isn’t we carry it with us, this hidden part of ourselves want to be healed it’s just the conscious mind is scared to do it. Your higher self wants you to be free from this, dealing with and healing from it is rarely as painful as you may expect.

When we let this painful part of us go we begin to live and breathe in a way like never before.

We all deserve to heal and set ourselves free. There are no positive reasons to hold onto hurt.

I have experienced all of the above and I didn’t want to carry it any longer, so I chose to heal.


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My Story: A Journey of Recovery

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My story – A journey of recovery   

I am 67 years old, and I can honestly say I have now left my traumatic past behind.  I was sexually and physically abused from the age of three until thirteen, by my father, grandfather and my dad’s best mate.  At the age of 13 I became pregnant by my father; the baby died in pregnancy and was buried under the floorboards.

 My father made me feel worthless, telling me I’m nothing and I never will be, treating me like a piece of meat, My mother was aware but did little to stop it happening. There were regular beatings, hunger and unending fear of my father and his temper.

I realise now spirit was working for me but back then, but I wasn’t aware of spirit until later.  Somewhere inside of me wanted to heal and let go of the past, I’d had years of professional counselling, therapies and the like,  read loads of self help books all with varying degrees of benefits.

The last couple of years I have been spending time looking inside myself for answers, and seeing that, what happened to me in my past wasn’t my fault and doesn’t need to continue to affect my future, I knew  something had to change.   Just after Christmas this year I was in a very dark place, I wasn’t happy with myself, my weight was creeping up dangerously, my arthritic knee was giving me significant pain, something had to change.

I asked spirit to help me and thought nothing more about it.  The Middle of January arrived, I woke up one morning,  and it was as if a light switched on inside of me, help had arrived !  All my memories came flooding back,  the hurt , the terror, the pain, self loathing etc, I realise now  I was shedding my past.  

From that moment I became aware of the messages my body were sending to me, stop eating when your full, rest when you’re tired ect, I was seeing myself from a different perspective I had a different insight into me.   I had always hated my body, it’s covered in scars from major surgery,  suddenly I was seeing my body differently, I realized my body had supported me and kept me alive.  I began writing a journal, finding joy in small things.

The biggest change was dropping a stone without trying, ive continued to nurture myself in many ways, as a result my weight has continued to fall away.  Now I like me and my body.

It hasn’t been an easy process but then change never is, all my life there something inside of me kept me moving forward, to move from my painful past driving me to move forward and let go of anything that doesn’t serve me.  Now I’m happy inside and out, I have a thirst for life, and enjoy every waking moment. 

 Underlying  Causes of over or under eating:  

There are many reasons why people become over weight or underweight, however some of  the major causes stem from childhood, it is never the current moment.  Somewhere inside of you your not happy, whether its negative programming from Parents, not feeling loved, not feeling good enough, feeling you have failed on some level, not knowing who you truly are and just pretending to be what society and family expect you to be.

Of course not everyone will have experienced the same trauma as myself, each person’s pain is different because we are all different and hurt on different levels, one persons pain is not better or worse than another.that doesn’t diminish your pain. 

Conclusion: Healing begins with the urge to change, for some it will be too difficult to deal with their “stuff” in this lifetime which means they will have to live another life with all the pain again.  Whatever your pain is you owe it to yourself not to carry it around the way I did.  If I can heal from my trauma so can you.

Jean x


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Reflection

Category : Uncategorized

I have experienced many changes over the last 7 months, developing my new website and embracing my next journey with spirit, I became aware that my arthritic knee was substantially more painful that it had been, so much so I resorted to taking a cocktail of strong painkillers as well as morphine patches to try and quell the pain with little relief, I was walking with a pronounced limp, I couldn’t sleep or think straight and was resigned to being this way until I had a knee replacement which would have been at least 12-18 month away, I was feeling really sorry for myself.

Then something triggered within me, I thought ” I’m not going to let this get to me, some thing has to change, I am NOT going to be a victim!”  At this time there were other things at play, I had worked at a holistic center, for over 2 years,  I knew months before I left  that my time there was over.  I moved to new premises thinking this was where I was meant to be, that lasted for 4 months,  I decided to move on , and found an office near to home, it seemed ideal but very soon I realised that it was far from ideal. I moved again, not to an office but back home, this has given me the space and time to think and plan my next chapter.

It began to occur to me that I needed to step back and decide what I was going to do and how I was going to work mentoring clients, sometimes things are so clear we don’t see them. These 3 moves happened  in the space of 6 months. Coming home gave me the clarity I needed.  When spirit want you to work in a different way , they make it crystal clear,  but the human side of us sometimes fights these changes, because we fear  that it might not work out,  although I know spirit will support me till the end of my time here.

Spirit were giving me nudges to move on, I was being urged to let go of giving readings in the same way as I always had, this thought scared me, this was all I knew for most of my life working for spirit, but in reality I knew I had to take the chance and go for it.!

I have always known when I had fulfilled a particular contract for spirit, I had been giving readings for over 25 years, Spirit began urging me to  to do demonstrations, I did this for about 3 years.  So began the next contract, spirit wanted me to teach  development, I did this and thoroughly enjoyed it. Again spirit began nudging me again, work in a different way, I am like a sponge, soaking information and knowledge.   Spirit wanted me to work for spirit by mentoring clients to discover their Soul’s purpose, their reason for being here.  To fulfill this contract would be taking  massive leap of faith, letting go of giving numerous readings to focus on the bigger picture of Spiritual Mentoring.

Around 5 months ago I noticed my knee pain was getting so severe it was restricting me and my life dramatically, it was also about this time that I was letting go of the teaching,  and wasn’t sure what my next step would be, I was excited but scared, doing readings was my income, if i gave that up how would I survive ? As a worker for spirit I trust, but the human material me wondered if i could survive financially, so I didn’t do anything, I thought No, I’ll stay with what I know.

I didn’t make the connection with my knee pain and me not taking the leap of faith till I Had,  spirit made it so uncomfortable for me that I had no choice but to take on this new way of working, once I embraced I went hell for leather, creating a brand new website, that is totally unique, I now live and breathe this new chapter in my life.  Looking back over the last 6 months making choices that were for My higher good and not to please others, at last I was nurturing my inner child.

During this time I noticed physical changed within me, I felt more confident,  more able to speak my mind, I felt a peace within myself probably for the first time in my life. Other changes happened, I stopped comfort eating, I wasn’t consciously aware if this until recently, I have lost over a stone in weight without trying, I feel healthier than I have for a very long time, I also had body issues now I don’t, these chnges have happened without me being conscious of them. Most  importantly I am practically pain free,   I only take,a painkiller if I need to, I no longer use the morphine patches.

My conclusion…..  when we nurture ourselves and walk the path that is destined for us, we lose the incessant need to suffocate ourselves with food, drugs, alcohol and unhealthy habits and behavior, respect yourself by only wanting the best for you, make good choices, be happy.

Jean 


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