Reflection

I have experienced many changes over the last 7 months, developing my new website and embracing my next journey with spirit, I became aware that my arthritic knee was substantially more painful that it had been, so much so I resorted to taking a cocktail of strong painkillers as well as morphine patches to try and quell the pain with little relief, I was walking with a pronounced limp, I couldn’t sleep or think straight and was resigned to being this way until I had a knee replacement which would have been at least 12-18 month away, I was feeling really sorry for myself.

Then something triggered within me, I thought ” I’m not going to let this get to me, some thing has to change, I am NOT going to be a victim!”  At this time there were other things at play, I had worked at a holistic center, for over 2 years,  I knew months before I left  that my time there was over.  I moved to new premises thinking this was where I was meant to be, that lasted for 4 months,  I decided to move on , and found an office near to home, it seemed ideal but very soon I realised that it was far from ideal. I moved again, not to an office but back home, this has given me the space and time to think and plan my next chapter.

It began to occur to me that I needed to step back and decide what I was going to do and how I was going to work mentoring clients, sometimes things are so clear we don’t see them. These 3 moves happened  in the space of 6 months. Coming home gave me the clarity I needed.  When spirit want you to work in a different way , they make it crystal clear,  but the human side of us sometimes fights these changes, because we fear  that it might not work out,  although I know spirit will support me till the end of my time here.

Spirit were giving me nudges to move on, I was being urged to let go of giving readings in the same way as I always had, this thought scared me, this was all I knew for most of my life working for spirit, but in reality I knew I had to take the chance and go for it.!

I have always known when I had fulfilled a particular contract for spirit, I had been giving readings for over 25 years, Spirit began urging me to  to do demonstrations, I did this for about 3 years.  So began the next contract, spirit wanted me to teach  development, I did this and thoroughly enjoyed it. Again spirit began nudging me again, work in a different way, I am like a sponge, soaking information and knowledge.   Spirit wanted me to work for spirit by mentoring clients to discover their Soul’s purpose, their reason for being here.  To fulfill this contract would be taking  massive leap of faith, letting go of giving numerous readings to focus on the bigger picture of Spiritual Mentoring.

Around 5 months ago I noticed my knee pain was getting so severe it was restricting me and my life dramatically, it was also about this time that I was letting go of the teaching,  and wasn’t sure what my next step would be, I was excited but scared, doing readings was my income, if i gave that up how would I survive ? As a worker for spirit I trust, but the human material me wondered if i could survive financially, so I didn’t do anything, I thought No, I’ll stay with what I know.

I didn’t make the connection with my knee pain and me not taking the leap of faith till I Had,  spirit made it so uncomfortable for me that I had no choice but to take on this new way of working, once I embraced I went hell for leather, creating a brand new website, that is totally unique, I now live and breathe this new chapter in my life.  Looking back over the last 6 months making choices that were for My higher good and not to please others, at last I was nurturing my inner child.

During this time I noticed physical changed within me, I felt more confident,  more able to speak my mind, I felt a peace within myself probably for the first time in my life. Other changes happened, I stopped comfort eating, I wasn’t consciously aware if this until recently, I have lost over a stone in weight without trying, I feel healthier than I have for a very long time, I also had body issues now I don’t, these chnges have happened without me being conscious of them. Most  importantly I am practically pain free,   I only take,a painkiller if I need to, I no longer use the morphine patches.

My conclusion…..  when we nurture ourselves and walk the path that is destined for us, we lose the incessant need to suffocate ourselves with food, drugs, alcohol and unhealthy habits and behavior, respect yourself by only wanting the best for you, make good choices, be happy.

Jean